Lost Bloom
by HiddenInTheTardis
Summary: When the Doctor and Donna land in Ancient Rome, Donna wonders why the Doctor's so edgy. The discovery of a forgotten statue reveals why. Spoilers for the book 'The Stone Rose.' Ten/Rose
1. Hiccups

_This is an idea I've been playing with for a while, after reading Jacqueline Rayner's superb book _'The Stone Rose.' _This story will probably make more sense if you've read the book. If you haven't, basically the Doctor and Rose travelled to Ancient Rome, where, to stop paradoxes and the like, the Doctor ends up sculpting a marble statue of his beloved companion, posing as the goddess Fortuna._

_This story takes place in Season 4, after the Doctor and Donna's visit to Pompeii._

_Hope you enjoy xx_

Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who. The Beeb does. I didn't write 'The Stone Rose.' Jacqueline Rayner did. I think that just about covers it…

Lost BloomHiccups

The Doctor frowned as the TARDIS gurgled and whirred. Donna held onto the railings for dear life, her teeth chattering in her mouth with each tremor.

"Oi, fix your ship, spaceman!" she hollered over the din.

The Doctor patted the console, making shushing noises, and the TARDIS calmed down. When he'd regained control (of course he'd claim he never lost it in the first place), he turned to Donna and glowered at her.

"Am I in a spacesuit?"

"What?"

"Does this look like a shuttle?"

"What?!"

"Am I wearing a goldfish bowl on my head?"

"What are-"

"So stop calling me 'spaceman'!" he said in an irritated tone.

"Well, it's rattling around like it's infested with woodpeckers! Alien woodpeckers, probably!"

"Don't have a go! She's got hiccups."

"Hiccups?"

"Yeah."

"What?!"

The Doctor sighed in frustration, and flung the monitor round to look at it, choosing to ignore Donna for a moment.

Donna pushed her hair from her face, looking down at her attire: she was still wearing the long, elegant Roman dress. Not really her thing.

"Gonna go change into some real-person clothes."

The Doctor looked up from his monitor. "Wouldn't bother, Donna…"

--

"Rome?"

"Yeah."

"But we've just come from Pompeii!"

"I know. That's what I meant about hiccups." The Doctor tried to think of a way to explain himself that she would understand.

"Its like a stone skimming on water. The TARDIS skipped a small way through time, and a small way through space, and we've ended up in Rome. About a hundred years after Pompeii."

Donna crossed her arms and huffed. "Bit insensitive, after what we've just been through, don't you think?" Images of the suffering and tragedy in Pompeii burned as brightly as lava through her mind. She shuddered at the thought of Vesuvius erupting over the city below.

As she was reliving her own haunted memories of that terrible night, it took her a while to notice the Doctor's, more intriguing, reaction.

He was scuffing his feet against the metal grating of the floor, and messing around with the monitor, bringing up lists of new coordinates. In Donna's view, he was uneasy to say the least.

"Y'know, you're right," he suddenly blurted out, his eyes wide with a manic energy. "Lets go somewhere else. Anywhere you like! How about we go see the first anti-gravity Olympics? Never got to take anyone there yet. Or…"

Donna frowned. Was he… trying to distract her?

_Why doesn't he want to go to Rome?_

"I suppose we could try Rome," she said carefully, testing the water and looking for his reaction. She wasn't disappointed: his eyebrows nearly flew off his forehead and he momentarily froze like a rabbit in headlights.

"No, no, no, let's go somewhere _completely different_!" he said with an excitement she could tell was false. "I know: you're a temp! Let's go see the first telepathic computer. Called it Yvonne, although why they did is beyond me! Year 2361, what do you think?"

While he was talking he set various dials and pulled switches. His hand rested over the controls in anticipation. "Well?"

Donna shook her head. "No, I wanna see Rome. Come on, might as well get some more wear out of this dress, can't see me wearing it round any Olympics or computer place."

The Doctor stepped back from the controls, running his hands through his hair, trying to look casual but obviously racking that enormous brain of his for anything to stop them going outside.

"France?"

"No."

"Thailand?"

"No."

"New Africa, 2114?"

"Well…"

"Yes?"

"No!"

The Doctor scowled, and sighed in frustration, but not quite defeated.

"Why don't you want to go to Rome, Doctor?"

"I… I don't want some guy on a market stall flogging the TARDIS for a few Sestertius or a jug of wine. _Again_. That fella was completely out of order, I mean-"

"Doctor!"

"What?!"

"The TARDIS will be fine. Let's go and look round a few shops or something. Bet the temples are beautiful."

The Doctor visibly cringed at that, which made Donna worry.

"Doctor, what is wrong with Rome?"

He shuddered. "Nothing. Lovely place," he said through gritted teeth.

"Well, then, lets go and look around. I bet you'll have a great time. Just think of all those ancient monuments and things, all brand new, waiting out there!"

She could see his feet itching towards the door, and knew he would cave eventually.

"Oh, okay, fine," she sighed in false exasperation. "I'll just go myself. And if I get into trouble, or kidnapped, or something, you can go and tell my mum."

That got his attention. He hadn't met Donna's mum yet, but with his past experiences with mothers it wasn't something he was looking forward to. Especially if he had to go alone and report a missing daughter.

He groaned as Donna opened the door.

"Wait for me."

--

What do you think? This is chapter 1 of 5, so not as long as my last story but I hope people like it all the same. It's gonna be a real sweet one; the Doctor gets all sombre and reminiscent thinking about Rose. So this is a Ten/Rose story, even though she's not technically in it. Please let me know what you think: hit Review! xx


	2. Rome Once More

For Disclaimer see Chapter 1 Rome Once More

The Doctor stepped warily out of the TARDIS, closing the door behind them and looking around with sadness in his hearts.

Last time I was here I was with-

"Doctor?"

Donna was looking at him, wearing that concerned, motherly expression that people so often adopted around him when he was caught reminiscing. He smiled at her, folding up the memory and filing it away at the back of his mind to deal with later.

He offered Donna his hand. "C'mon then, lets go see Rome!"

They walked out of the small alleyway the TARDIS had landed in, getting strange looks from a small boy who had seen them come out of the strange, blue box. The Doctor winked at him, and he scurried back off to his playmates.

Whereas in Pompeii they had landed almost in the middle of a fully-fledged market, this time they had landed in a more affluent area: an almost chariot-like horse and cart waited outside a tall pale house, distinguished-looking gentlemen in flowing robes and togas travelled solemnly between buildings carrying scrolls and the like, while a group of women in elegant dresses and dripping with jewels and gold sat gossiping around a table in an outdoor café. Donna smiled. Not much had changed: she remembered London, bustling with taxis, businessmen with briefcases and girls chatting over their cappuccinos.

A sign caught her eye: she knew it was in Latin or something similar, but she saw 'Sandals and Satchels.'

"Shoes and Handbags, every girl's dream. Guess it's not just us 21st Century lot."

She headed over to the shop, and was pounced on at once by several shop assistants. She groaned.

_Things _never _change_!

The Doctor left Donna to happily wander through the bags and shoes. _Bags and shoes? She's travelled back in time two thousand years in a ship that defies human logic, and she gets excited over shoes and bags?_ He decided then to give up trying to understand human women. Especially this one. Best just to nod, smile and avoid being slapped.

He made his way to a small building in the corner of the square. It would have been easy to pass by: it looked very insignificant. At closer inspection he found it to be a blacksmith's. _Very out of place._

He rapped confidently on the door and let himself in. He found a man asleep in a pile of hay, while a boy of about fifteen worked hard, shaping a piece of metal with expert skill. The Doctor watched him in admiration.

Eventually the boy stood up straight, stretched his back and set the finished horseshoe down on a barrel.

"Nice work," the Doctor said admiringly. The boy hadn't seen him come in, and jumped a little in surprise, looking at the Doctor's attire with obvious confusion.

"Thank you, sir," he said eventually.

"Not sir, please, just Doctor."

The boy nodded. "A man of learning. I take lessons in the city square. I'm going to be a Scribe."

"Career man."

The man in the hay grumbled in his sleep, and turned over. The young man gestured towards him.

"Not if he has anything to do with it. My father's brother. He wants me to carry on in the family trade, but this doesn't interest me."

"Ah, I know what you mean. I was considered kind of a rogue element back home."

"He's so stubborn," said the young man, warming to his subject. "This place has been here for generations, and has seen all those beautiful buildings rise up around it. But he won't move, even though business is poor."

The Doctor grinned. "What's your name?"

"Favius Destarus."

"Good to meet you."

"Have you been to Rome before?"

The Doctor shifted uncomfortably. "Once, a long, long time ago."

Favius smiled. "Then you know about the celebration?"

"Celebration?"

"Yes. The people of Rome celebrate the goddess Fortuna for her help with the crops. It is celebrated every year."

At that moment Donna found the Doctor, after escaping unharmed from the shop assistants. She barged into the blacksmiths.

"There you are! Tell you what, sales tactics haven't changed much in the last few millennia."

Favius was looking confused again, so the Doctor interrupted. "Favius, this is Donna. Donna, this is Favius Destarus. He's gonna be a Scribe. Just like you," he said pointedly.

Donna nodded in understanding, and smiled kindly at the boy.

"So are _you _going to the festival?" Favius asked her.

"What festival?"

Favius sighed. This was getting repetitive. "The festival celebration for the goddess Fortuna. In the inner city."

Donna looked at the Doctor. "Why didn't you tell me there was a festival?"

"I didn't know, did I?"

"You mean to tell me there's something in this world that wasn't crammed between your ears? After all your boasting, you great big… alien! Some tour guide!"

Her words were harsh, but only mocking.

Favius was beginning to get a headache trying to follow this latest development.

"I do not understand…"

The Doctor beamed at him, and patted him on the back. "Don't worry yourself, Favius. We're off now, anyway. Places to go, people to save…"

He tried to leave, but Donna grabbed his jacket.

"Not so fast, Time Warp! Now, where d'you say this festival was, Favius?"

--

Before the Doctor knew what was happening, he was being propelled into the hustling and bustling in the centre of Rome, by a very determined redhead. He frowned. _She really is getting far too confident about stuff like this!_

Donna made her way through the crowd, fitting in remarkably well (with the occasional "move it!" and "watch where you're going mate!" to help their progress along the street).

Donna finally found her destination, and found a large crowd was converging on the same spot. The Doctor looked up at the beautiful temple, and his mind was flooded with memories.

_This is going to be torture._

_--_

_Here we go, they finally found the temple. I know they took a while getting there, but I wanted to build up the Doctor's resentment about this place._

_Let me know what you think: please Review and make me happy! xx_


	3. Blessings From Fortuna

For Disclaimer see Chapter 1

For Disclaimer see Chapter 1.

Thanks for the reviews, they make me so happy! Hope you enjoy chapter three xxBlessings From Fortuna

Donna tried to make her way into the temple, but found the Doctor had rooted his feet to the ground like an oak tree. He was refusing to move.

Annoyed at his childishness, the leaned over to him.

"What are you _doing_?!" she hissed.

Not taking his eyes from the temple, he started backing away, suddenly overcome with memories and images flooding his mind.

"I… I can't go in, Donna," he said in little more than a whisper.

"Doctor, you're making a scene."

Indeed, several people were frowning at them, tutting as they had to make their way around the man who had decided to freeze in the middle of the street.

"Look, I don't know what's gotten into you, but there is nothing in there that's gonna kill us, no creepy stuff, no aliens, no monsters, no ghosts. And if there are they'll have to get past me. Now come on."

The Doctor couldn't help but smile at this seldom seen show of sensitivity from Donna, but the smile was wiped from his face as he was pulled up the stone steps and past the pillars.

There is a ghost in here, Donna…

To his relief, the temple was busy, and full of people with armfuls of crops and fruit, ready to offer them to the goddess. Several people sat near the entrance with a selection of foods spread out on blankets, obviously intended for those who wanted to make a spur-of-the-moment offering. Two regal-looking men stood with a large gold box, which reminded Donna of a church's collection plate. In one corner, a group of young men and women played an array of musical instruments to set the atmosphere at this time of celebration.

Donna linked arms with the Doctor, and grinned at him, her face falling as she saw his pale, blank expression.

"Doctor, are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," he said emptily.

"I can't help you if you don't let me in, Time Boy." She left him standing there, and went off to look around.

He soon heard her laughing with a group of women in green dresses, being watched carefully by a guard in red and gold armour. He knew she was right, but that didn't make him want to tell her about his last visit to this temple. Back then it had been a lot quieter. He looked around, and noticed the décor had chipped in places; other parts had been replaced completely. He had worked out from overheard conversation and the look of the place that it was AD169, ninety years since Pompeii and 49 years since he was actually in Rome last. He gulped and shuddered at the realisation: only a stone's throw from his last visit. It seemed so unfair. He thought of the goddess this temple was in honour of, and laughed quietly.

The goddess of luck. How unlucky is this situation?!

He realised he was drawing attention to himself, stood in the middle of the room, staring off into space, laughing to himself. So he decided to have a look around. Couldn't hurt, could it?

He wandered around, admiring the décor and the pattern in every crevice of stone. It really was a beautiful building, whether he hated it or not. He turned a corner into another section of the temple, where he could smell fruit and burning spices. This room seemed reserved for offerings, and several people were knelt quietly on the floor, mumbling thanks to a fifteen-foot statue of Fortuna. His hearts froze for a moment when he saw the statue, but realised immediately it wasn't the one he was thinking of. He left the worshippers alone, heading into the courtyard, which was a lot less busy. He made his way down the steps, into the welcoming sunshine. And his blood turned to ice in his veins.

--

After about twenty minutes chatting to the Girls in Green, as Donna had decided to call them, she found herself worrying again about the Doctor's odd behaviour, and left her new friends to look for him.

She passed the worshippers, and the intricately patterned walls of the inner temple. She lifted the hem of her dress and carefully made her way down the stone steps into the courtyard. Where she found him.

He was sat on the floor, obviously getting in people's way, staring up at a sculpture in the centre of the courtyard. She headed over to him, looking up at the life-size statue with admiration.

"She's pretty."

She looked down at the Doctor, who was looking up at the statue in front of him with burdened eyes. He heard her voice, but saw nothing but the statue.

"She's pretty, isn't she?" Donna repeated.

It took a moment for the Doctor to respond; even then he could only manage a nod.

"I wonder who the model was?"

The Doctor closed his eyes to stop tears falling. He wished she hadn't asked that question. It had opened a box in his soul that he hadn't opened in a long, long time. And it was going to hurt.

"Rose," he breathed. "Her name is Rose."

--

_**Please let me know what you think! Hit Review, make me smile xx**_


	4. The Closest to Closure

Hi lovely readers! Okay something's been bugging me: the format of the story changes when I post it, like the italics don't show up, and titles all get scrunched up onto one line. Anyone know how to stop it? Please send me a message and let me know. Here's chapter 4, hope you enjoy it xx

For Disclaimer see chapter 1

The Closest to Closure

"Rose?"

Donna looked at the Doctor with bewilderment. He had mentioned Rose when they met, and once when they reunited, and she knew this girl had meant the world to him. It was heartbreaking to see him looking up at this statue with his eyes so full of pain and misery. And she realised in that moment why he hadn't wanted to come to Rome.

"Doctor, how is this Rose? What do you mean?" she asked gently.

After a few moments the Doctor managed to tear his eyes away from the statue to look at his friend, who had sat down next to him.

He took a deep, juddery breath. "I made this. It's Rose."

Donna tried not to frown as she processed this. "You're not really making sense."

The Doctor shuddered, and looked back at the statue.

"Rose and I came here, to Rome. About fifty years ago, linear time. Her friend, back in the 21st Century, showed us this statue in the British Museum. We came back here, and helped a man find his son, Optatus, who'd gone missing."

"You found him?" Donna barely dared to speak, with the look of thundering pain flashing under the surface of his eyes.

He nodded. "It's complicated," he sighed, for once not wanting to go into every detail of the account. "Turns out a local sculptor had a helping hand from the future, and was turning people to stone for the sake of his art. He turned Rose to stone."

Donna looked up at the statue in horror. "So you mean… hang on! You said you made this."

"Yeah, I did."

"So _you _were turning people to stone?"

He looked at her like she was insane. "Do you really think I can turn people to stone? Anyway… to cut a long story short I found a way to turn her back to normal, but there needed to be a statue, so we could find it in the museum, so there wouldn't be a paradox."

Donna's brain started to hurt, but he continued without stopping for breath.

"So I made this, a copy of her, exact in every detail. I gave it to a family who lived here in Rome; I guess they moved and the statue was brought here."

Silence, as Donna processed what he'd told her. It had spilled from his mouth so honestly, inexorably, and full of pain that she'd had to fight back the tears.

"But when we were in Pompeii, you thought it was Rome at first; it didn't bother you then."

He looked at her with eyes almost dead from grief, all nine hundred weary years of his life showing behind them. "That's what pain does, Donna. It makes you forget. But with Pompeii… I made that happen, Donna. Pain has a funny way of creeping up on you and strangling you when you least suspect it."

He wasn't making sense, but she knew he needed to do this. It was the closest to closure he was going to get.

"I'm sorry," she said simply.

He nodded, his eyes tired and heavy. "Yeah."

They sat in silence for the longest time, the courtyard thankfully deserted. Donna found she couldn't quite bring herself to look at the statue, but the Doctor seemed almost content, staring into the blank, marble eyes.

"You would have loved her, Donna.

"She was smart and brave and brilliant.

"She came from a council estate but she stopped the most fearsome army in the universe on her own.

"She burned like the sun and stood firm against the darkness, never deterred by what she saw, Donna.

"She saved me, in so many ways.

"She saved me from myself, she saved me from my enemies, she… made me want to live.

"She was… fantastic."

Donna sat motionless through this speech, and watched a single tear roll down his cheek.

He felt it run down his face, and rubbed his hands over his cheeks.

"I'm sorry."

"You've got nothing to be sorry about, Doctor."

They sat in silence again. A few of the locals came out to investigate the stationary couple, but they quickly retreated inside when they sensed the fire burning in the man's soul.

"How did you meet her?"

The Doctor smiled at the memory, and dared to open his hearts once more.

"It was so long ago. I was a different man back then. But she took my hand and we ran. We never really stopped…

"She was just there, one day. I was investigating a threat, just like every other day, and she was right there. Like she'd been sent there for me.

"She saved my life that day, and the whole of London. She was a shining light through the bitterness of stagnant time. And, she was…"

He struggled for the last word.

"Mine."

He looked at Donna again. "And I lost her."

Donna put a comforting hand on his arm.

"Donna, she saved the world so many times, and now nobody knows she exists. Like she was never here."

Donna had always assumed, deep down, that Rose had died, the way he briefly mentioned his loss in the past. But now, as he said she 'exists,' she found her curiosity got the better of her.

"Where is she, Doctor?"

A full minute passed before he could bring himself to answer her.

"She's home."

--

_Aw, I'm getting a bit depressed writing this; it's so sad! I promise the next chapter will end on a slightly happier note. Please Review xx_


	5. And The Hearts Break

_Hi all!_

_A big thank you to the peeps who have taken the time to review this. You guys rock!_

_Here's the final instalment. Hope you enjoy xx_

For Disclaimer see Chapter 1

And The Hearts Break…

The Doctor looked at her with wide, watery eyes.

"She's home. With her family. On another world."

Donna didn't understand. "Well, what's the problem, then? Go get her!"

He shook his head and smiled sadly. "A parallel world. I can't get there."

"Are you sur-"

"-I've tried everything, Donna. I can't get her back. She's safe. She's with her family."

There was a pause, while the Doctor struggled to bring himself to talk about the moments buried so deep in his hearts.

"I… we…

"There was a battle.

"A terrible battle that shouldn't have happened.

"Parallel impossibilities and nightmares from the past came together against us.

"And she was strong, so strong.

"She looked them in the eye and told them she had no fear.

"Amongst all the chaos, all the pain and terror, trough the whole tragedy, she came back for me.

"I sent her home, but she came back for me.

"She said she was never going to leave.

"She told me she was going to stay with me forever.

"That nothing would break us apart.

"She'd made her choice."

He took a deep breath, a tremor running through his whole body.

Donna looked deep into those troubled eyes, and could see his hearts breaking. Breaking for his Rose.

"Why didn't she stay?"

"She did. But it wasn't her choice." His eyes grew dark, his face twisted with the torment and grief, and he spat the words out. "She was pulled away. Taken from me before I could hold her, before I could tell her…"

Donna waited for his next words, but they never came. She prompted him.

"Did you love her, Doctor?"

He looked up at the statue of his lost bloom. "She knows how I feel."

--

On their way out of the temple, they passed an old man with white hair and once-handsome features. His attention was focused on a small box in his hands, until he saw the skinny man in the dark suit, and an old memory teased his brain. He turned, and called to the man.

"Doctor?"

The Doctor and Donna turned to look at him, questioning expressions spread across their faces.

The Doctor was tired and drawn from his emotional ordeal, but through the veil of depression that hung over him, he recognised the man.

"Optatus?"

It was his friend from so long ago, the boy who had been turned to stone.

Optatus hurried over to the Doctor, a smile ironing some of the creases from his face to give a glimpse of his younger appearance.

"Yes, Doctor. It is so good to see you! My friend's nephew, Favius, told me of a stranger with a blue box who came to ask about Fortuna, but I never expected it to be you."

The Doctor forced a smile onto his face. "Nice to see you again, my friend."

"You have not changed a day, through all the seasons, not one day on your face," Optatus remarked wistfully. "You must truly come from the land of the gods."

"I can assure you, we don't," Donna said with a kindly smile.

Optatus looked around briefly. "Where is Rose?"

Donna saw the Doctor's whole body stiffen when he heard the name, and she placed a comforting hand on his arm. "She's home," she told the Roman.

Optatus nodded at the vague explanation. "I brought this today for the festival; I thought, as Rose became an embodiment of Fortuna, I thought the goddess may approve of this token." He held up the small box. "But it is addressed to you. You should take it, with my blessing, old friend."

Reluctantly the Doctor took the box, staring down at it in confused wonderment.

Optatus ventured an explanation. "Rose dropped it. You should take it for her."

--

Back in the TARDIS, when he was alone in the library, the Doctor finally built up the courage to open the mysterious box. And his hearts welled up with happiness, sadness, loneliness, and every other imaginable emotion.

It was a scrap of paper, and which was a rough picture of a Roman soldier. On the other side was a message in Rose's handwriting:

_Dear Doctor,_

_I thought I'd have a go at inventing the postcard a few years early._

_Thanks for bringing me to Rome, it's great._

_Can't wait to pose for Fortuna tomorrow._

_I just wanted to say thanks, cos I always forget to._

_Where can we go next?_

_How about Barcelona? You know you never did take me!_

_Not that I'm complaining._

_Remind me to get one of those Roman necklaces for my mum._

_Love,_

_Rose._

He turned the paper over in his hands, suppressed tears finally falling from his eyes. His Rose. His love. His Lost Bloom.

--

Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think- hit Review and make my day!

Look out for my next Ten/Rose story, coming very soon (I sound like a film trailer lol)

TTFN xx


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